Single, Saved and Satisfied. Somebody done LIED……

I absolutely love Jesus! It won’t take you much time to see and believe that, especially reading my blog posts. Majority of what I write and share is God inspired and scripture filled.

For about five years or more I have struggled with the phrase “Single Saved and Satisfied”. Not firing shots at the woman who wrote the book bearing that title, but I have yet to reach this place in my Christian journey.

I am saved and I am single BUT I have never been satisfied with being single, I’ve only coped…

So, being single is not my issue right now. Some days I want to be in a relationship and some days I don’t.

My issue today is sex. I am angry because I am not able to have sex with a clear conscious.

Yes you read it correctly.

I’m angry because I am tired of struggling with this, some days I don’t want to be “the good girl”. Some of my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ aren’t being honest with this portion of their singleness. I think it’s because they’re afraid to be judged or afraid to look “fleshy”.

I am angry because I am a great catch and I have not met my husband yet, there are no prospects in sight.

I’m angry because countless leaders who are supposed to be a part of the body of Christ, struggle with this very thing. They never deal with it properly, hurting themselves and others, you’ve seen the headlines, it’s horrible.

There are so many teachings out there for Christian singles and some of them are pretty good balanced teachings, BUT more often than not the writer isn’t being totally honest.

They’re not getting down to the “nitty gritty”, I believe they are afraid to tell the truth about the elephant in the room…

Horny…

You can’t sing it away, you can’t pray it away, you can’t fast it away and you surely can NOT shout it away.

I have tried all of the above and NONE of it has worked.

Let me kill a demon right now!

Horny is NOT, I repeat is NOT from the devil.

Your sexual appetite should be healthy and it does not require you to repent because you feel the urge.

Horny is not the sin, it’s a feeling. Fornication is the sin, perversion is the sin, and adultery is the sin.

Premarital sex can cause all sorts of issues, STD’S, fatherless and motherless children, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt and the list goes on and on.

If you marry the wrong person you can risk having some of the same issues listed above, but that is another blog post for a later time.

Today I want to help my single saved and NOT so satisfied sisters and brothers who are struggling with your sex drive, just as I currently am.

I wish someone would have helped me eleven years ago when I took my first vow of celibacy. Yes I said first vow and NO I am not calling myself “a born again virgin”, I don’t agree with that.

My prayer is that we kill shame and guilt today and you log out of medium with a renewed mind and some clarity on this Christian journey while single and trying to do the will of God.

I remember where I was in my life and walk with God the first time I took my celibacy vow.

I had just answered my call to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and I did not want to be a fraud. Sex was not the only thing I walked away from, it was one of the toughest things I had to walk away from.

God created our bodies for pleasure, the pleasure is supposed to take place between husband and wife.

Having sexual desires are not sinful, I can’t say that enough. It’s when we respond to those desires unwed, we fall into sin.

Premarital sex does not send you to hell. It may send you to the clinic, to the altar in repentance or to the therapist’s couch, but not to hades.

Celibacy isn’t about “praying the horny away”, that’s not possible.

Celibacy is a conscious choice to wait until marriage to have sex because you want to honor God and yourself. It’s one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life and some days I don’t feel like it’s worth holding out.

Even when I don’t “feel like” it’s worth it I know it really is worth the wait.

When I hear stories about so called “pastors” and “church leaders” falling in their flesh committing adultery, abusing their power and position to sexually mishandle children and other members of their congregations, I get very angry.

I get angry because here I am without a “flock” or congregation but I choose to be integral and struggle with my desires to fornicate, while they just do it, never seeming to weigh the potential damage their behavior will cause.

But then I realize this walk is a personal one between my God and I.

I quickly get over what those so called “leaders” are doing and I reassure myself I am attempting to walk upright for God and God alone.

I am living a life for an audience of One.

I took a vow of Celibacy in 2005 and it lasted for five years, when I broke my vow unto God I felt as if my life was completely over.

I felt SO guilty I did not want to lift my head up. I was deeply ashamed and felt as if I disappointed my Father and put a mark against heaven.

My bible tells me I am not condemned, ( Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus) but my imbalanced mind told me there was no way to come back from what I did and the promises of God were on hold for my life.

Let’s be very clear, deliberate sin is not right at all but God is not some dictator sitting up in heaven ready to strike us down when we don’t obey His word line by line. God offers us grace and mercy.

Jesus came in our place as a sacrifice for our sin. He is our High Priest who was at all points tempted as we are yet without sin. Jesus knows what it’s like to be human and yet Jesus lived this life without sin. Jesus came to the earth by way of immaculate conception, fulfilled our Fathers law while in this flesh, the same flesh we have, sacrificed Himself as our Passover offering atoning us and covering us in His innocent blood for past, present and future sins.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever shall believe in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.

Not only did Jesus atone us, but when He rose from the dead by His own accord he justified and freed us from sin, death, hell and the grave.

So my dear friend, be free knowing if you fall, the price has already been paid for you.

This grace and passion of Christ does not give us the right to sin, but this gives us the knowledge of our lack of perfection and desperate need of a savior.

This passion and great gift God gave us through His Son should inspire us to want to turn our backs on our sinful nature and strive to live in and through God’s Spirit by way of accepting His Son Christ.

During our walk and relationship with God, as we gain more knowledge of Him and realize who He created us to be from the beginning we should feel compelled to repent and turn completely away from all sin, not just sexual sin.

Isn’t God great?

I love HIM SO much!

Does my love for Him fade when my hormones are raging and I want to sleep with a man? No!

Does my love for Him fade if I decide to respond to my hormones and go through with sleeping with a man? No!

Does God hang His head in shame when I fall prey to my natural sexual desires? No!

Should I stay in a position of sexual sin or fornication because “Jesus paid the price for my sins”? No!

Romans 6:1–4 says this- What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? 4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

We should walk in the newness of life.

Walking in the newness of life means I am allowing God’s Spirit to guide me in my life and in my decisions, including my decisions with my body.

We like to allow God to heal us, free us, give us financial and career guidance, watch over our children and families but we don’t believe God can help us when it comes to sex.

I’ll be the first to tell you God CAN!

I am on my 2nd vow of celibacy and I am aiming to do what I aimed to do the first time I took the vow in 2005. I want to wait until marriage, not until the engagement but wait until the actual ceremony is over.

If I fall in my flesh and I decide to respond to lust as it burns in me (and it will), will I condemn myself and feel as if life is over? No!

I will be disappointed briefly but I will get over it, pick myself back up, brush my knees off and start over again.

Sex is not just a sin against God, but against yourself.

Let’s look at the word in 1 Corinthians 6:18 — Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

I don’t think we understand how much we spend ourselves when we give our bodies to people, it’s very expensive. We spend ourselves spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.

This time around my vow of celibacy is not only because of my call to preach God’s gospel but because of my honor and love unto God and my honor and love for myself.

I understand I am a vessel built for Gods use and I don’t want to abuse this vessel with anything that will block my progress.

Giving our bodies to the wrong people will damage us greatly physically, spiritually and emotionally.

I want us to be free to be human beings, knowing how much God loves us with COMPLETE knowledge of who and what we are.

There are so many teachings out here that don’t line up with who God really is. We act as if some of us don’t need grace. We act as if some of us don’t ever struggle with anything. Misleading people and pretending as if we don’t struggle because we have Jesus, it’s so far from the truth.

When we act as if we don’t struggle with REAL life we make this Christianity walk look unattainable to “regular people”.

Guess what?

I am a Christian and I am a REGULAR PERSON!

I struggle with everything the rest of the world struggles with, I just choose to have a faith that helps me to have hope in dark and painful places.

For so many years we have been so messed up and afraid to speak about this kind of thing in the church.

Sex is only taboo if you make it taboo.

It’s only taboo because we have perverted the gift of sex God gave us and turned it into something it was never meant to be.

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and a blessing between husband and wife with the awesome privilege to share in God’s plan of procreation.

If you are single, saved and not so satisfied just like me, welcome to the club!

I challenge you to pray, search the scriptures to see who you are, to see what God has to say about premarital sex and make a wise decision based off of that.

If you are a Christian and you don’t feel the need to take a vow of celibacy, God still loves you!

If you are a Christian and you are struggling with ANY other sin known to man, welcome to the club!

If you truly desire to conquer sin and this flesh, it’s attainable. It’s a daily battle, but it’s a winnable battle. Start out with the book that helped me to transform my heart and mind, Romans.

Guess what?

I’m still transforming and becoming who God called me to be.

I am STILL struggling, and as you read the bible you will see our struggle isn’t new, we are in great company! God used some regular people who had real struggles but did some amazing things for His kingdom.

This walk is worth it and it’s a journey of learning, sacrifice, patience, compassion and love. Most of all it’s a journey of grace.

Get a support system or an accountability partner if you are trying to hold out until marriage. During your journey if you fall and scrape a knee, remember the first aid kit of compassion the Father has. God is able if you are willing, don’t allow your own heart to condemn you when God doesn’t. It’s important to read, meditate on and study the word of God and develop a prayer life, then and ONLY then will you become familiar with His ways and His voice. You’ll realize He’s not “okay” with sin, God actually hates sin, but He’s madly in love with you and it’s a love that destroys the barrier of sin and offers a way of escape from the sin.

I am rooting for us and I hope this has helped you on today.

Believe me when I say, I love you FOR-REAL.

I’m praying for us! I pray that we would walk in the knowledge and power of who God is and that we would live and breathe His compassion. I pray that those of us who are Christian would truly study who Jesus is and model ourselves after Him and not just after the people we deem to be like Jesus. It’s so much better when we follow the source. I pray for those who haven’t taken the step towards salvation yet. I ask that God would show you how attainable this life is, how practical it is and how much He loves you. I pray that we all would come to the knowledge of who Jesus is and why He did such a passionate thing for us even though He was fully aware of some people rejecting him. I pray that those of us who bear his name would walk as He did while He was in the flesh on earth, in love. Single brothers and sisters I’m praying that you would allow God to be strong in you and realize that He can help you with ALL things yes even with sex. I pray that if and when you fall you get back up again and move forward.